Why don't more people adopt?

I think because if they really get serious and start figuring out the logistics of how to make an adoption happen then:

• The other car window breaks
• The car needs a $1000 repair (and you still haven't fixed the windows)
• The garbage disposal breaks
• The hot water heater needs repaired for a cool $600 (and the garbage disposal is still broken)
• Kids have their dance performance and it's time to pay for costumes and other stuff. 
• I broke my tooth and needed a crown ($800)
• Callie left her retainer in her pocket and it SHATTERED, Ian had a couple cavities too.
• The holidays have been coming at you since Christmas without a chance for financial recoup
• Gas prices plummet,  causing hubby's company to lay off 1/3 of their employees. luckily he dodged the bullet, but are we really in the clear?

I think it's called life. I really did sit down and figure out that with me beginning to work next year we could begin the process this summer with our income tax return and just be a little in debt when we picked up our baby in China. Sure we could put it on a credit card (or 3) but then I'd have to work to make the payments for the rest of our lives and I want another baby to raise myself, not have someone else watch all day.

But with that beautiful list above sucking away our funds faster than they can build, DOUBT has become our companion. We can barely keep up, how can we afford another mouth even if we can find the funds to adopt? And this is:
 Why more people don't adopt
This is Satan capitalizing on our biggest fears. Ours is financial, but it occurred to me that if our fear were something else it would be manifest in a different way. If we were worried that emotionally we can't handle our kids we have already, then our kids would be acting out in ways we've never seen before. But this is that point where faith falters. Where it becomes too much to forge ahead in an adoption. Where we stop before we get started, before there are commitments. This has been our first test, and it's been a doosey. ( If it's even over. )

But, Gods hand will reach down from heaven in ways we can't even imagine.

So, last month I had told the new principal of Centennial, who is also my bishop, not to forget that I wanted to work as an aide while Daisy is at Kindergarten. He met with me and asked me to consider becoming the music teacher for him. It's also an aide position, but a lot more hours. Oh how I AGONIZED over this decision. I called and talked to everyone I could think of. I prayed and God does like he does, waited to confirm or deny my decision. but i couldn't make one. It was horrible. The job is mine to accept or reject.
At first it was an easy "no". I had no one to watch Daisy. Then, I think, Bruce was inspired to tell me how they worked out care for their daughter who would also be in kindergarten. And here is where Gods hand was there. This year Daisy made a new friend, and I knew before I even asked her that the mother would be not only willing, but excited to watch Daisy during the second half of the school day. This friendship is timely and amazing and I just can't tell you how much I love and admire my new friend.
So, now the decision is really mine to make. I would swing back and forth; sometimes hourly. I met with the principal and discussed it again, asking every question I could think of. Begging Heavenly Father to tell me what to do. Not wanting to face my fear of teaching. Bruce wanted an answer on Tue and the answer was no, but I didn't call him.
Wed morning I was sad. I talked to Kev about how I didn't want to say no and I felt like I was missing out on a great opportunity. He told me he hadn't been uninterested in my decision, but that he didn't want to influence me. That he supported me taking the job if that was what I wanted to do. I cried (which he thought was stupid) because I'm so lucky to have a husband that has so much faith in me. He didn't pressure me that we need the money, or if I ever wanted to adopt I'd better take it. He was just silently supportive. And when Bruce called 2 hours later, I told him yes! I almost pooped my pants. I'm terrified (which is bad, cuz I hear kids can smell fear) and excited and overwhelmed and positive that this is going to be a hard and rewarding year!

We are all invited to Adopt!

I have this new habit that is a really good thing. I've been getting on my elliptical. After letting it gather dust for a few years I'm back to it!! What does that have to do with adoption? WELL, while I walk, I watch video's about adoption. The time just FLIES by. Which is great, cuz when I'm distracted I can push harder and enjoy working out. So, be ready for lots of elliptical sharing videos! Today's struck me with the importance of being invited. When I was selling food storage one of the seminars I attended talked about never forgetting at the end of a home party to invite the guest to purchase. Something so important and I'd been forgetting it.

When I met my adoption messenger (learn about her here) Her story came with invitations that I could do it too. That she'd be glad to help me if I wanted to adopt. There is so much power in a simple invitation.

And that leaves you. I invite you to adopt! I haven't even really started he process yet, but I wouldn't be jealous if you started and ended your journey to adoption before I do. Every precious little one matters and needs a family. The statistics blew me away in this video.

Since this is about inviting. I'd like to invite you to comment. I'd love encouragement from those who have adopted, comradery from those who are wanting to start the process, and support for anyone willing to give it!

Today I heard back from the agency that I asked to see a file from. They said his file is being reviewed by two other families and she'd let me know later today about it. 

Planting a Seed

Not all seeds grow. A seed never planted has no chance.  The seed of Adoption has been planted in my heart, in fertile soil. It is watered every time I think of adopting, but what really waters the seed are the experiences of others. What a blessing BLOGS are. hahaha. a blog? That silly thing we did before facebook took over our lives, and don't get me started on instagram. I've fallen back in love with blogging and the blogs of adoptive parents- especially china are AMAZING! I will get a link going on the side, but this post touched me today. This post is spring rain to my little seed.

http://findingmeimei.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-past-is-not-in-past.html

Yes, I say fertile soil. I didn't even realize the effect of my adopted friends in my life. The biggest contributor is my second mama. A beautiful Korean woman who was adopted as a young girl. Her daughter is my best friend and I love them both so much. I love the culture of Korea they brought into my life. I love that they taught me to eat with chopsticks! Even though I'm horrible at it.

How do you know the seed has been planted? Because when our family talks about adopting it's not if, it's when. In our prayers and fasting it's not 'if' we adopt, it's 'when' and 'how'. My prayer today is Heavenly Father, please bless us with the means, the strength and the perseverance to bless our lives and the life of one of thy special spirit
who needs the most important thing in life, family.

Inspiration- the first step

Sometimes the little things are the big things. Two nights ago I filled out a form and it was just a little old form with basic, although personal, information. A small thing that felt so huge in that moment. The form was to ask for information on one of the babies whose picture I couldn't stop looking at. Is he mine? The only way to find out is to know more about him. But if I just keep scrolling I won't fall in love, I won't commit. And that is the easy path.
That is what made asking for more info such a big deal. It's the first time I've contacted a stranger or agency and it felt like a very big deal.

SO, two days later feels like an eternity. Maybe they saw I didn't qualify and aren't going to contact me at all. Maybe it's just the weekend. Maybe I need to stop obsessing. Maybe I need to get a job to pay for adopting.

Last night, with all my family around for a birthday, Kev leaned over my cell and said "what ya doing? Looking at Chinese babies?" He's stopped saying "I'm not going to China" In fact he was almost (haha) encouraging when I told him I wanted more info on a baby in China and I showed him the pix. "It won't hurt to get some info" But he is wrong. It can hurt because I might fall in love. And he might fall in love.  And the journey to a China Adoption is not an easy one. My 7 year old's face when I told her it takes 1-2 years reminded me of that. She will be nine or even ten if we begin the process soon. This makes me want to get it going, so that my kids aren't too much older than the child we adopt.

Planting your own seed? Sign up at Rainbowkids.org to see the faces of these kids who need forever families.

Then God sends a messenger

Every summer I enroll the kids in swimming lessons. No Big Deal! Daisy is still little, so her class is only a half hour. It's easier to play on my phone and wait for lessons to be done than leave and come back.

Daisy is getting a ride back to the side of the pool!

 I noticed a family with a beautiful Chinese boy, who isn't even walking yet. He sits in the stroller with his curly blonde headed sister. I'm so curious about this little boys story, but his mom is surrounded by women who are most likely her mom and sister.  Then one day, it's just her. And I finally had a good opportunity to ask about him. I think I started the conversation by asking how old he was.  I was guessing 1 yr, because this day he was walking around a bit, but a few days before when she set his tiny body on the chair and he didn't attempt to get off, I was guessing 10 months. He is 3 years old. Because of poor nutrition he hadn't grown properly and could be a dwarf. He only weighed 15 pounds.

Sometimes you meet people and as you start talking, they are eating every word like it's their last meal; you can't help but share more than you are usually comfortable with. This is what happened that day to Lacy. She kept saying things like, "I don't usually tell people this, but.  .. ." and she would tell me of Gods hand in her adoption story. She started at the beginning and told me she had always wanted to adopt and her journey to adoption and bringing Chu home. He had been home since March. At the time that seemed like it had been a while ago to me. Then when I got home and realized that that had only been a few months and the process had taken her over a year, I felt I hadn't been sensitive enough. She talked about the conditions of the SWI, that the cost was comparable to US adoptions, that babies are abandoned in public places all the time. I WAS CHANGED.

We talked all through lessons and when they were over I had pretzels we fed our kids trying to appease them for just a few more minutes to talk. I think we talked another 45 min after classes and it was amazing. She offered help and support if I could convince my hubby to do it. We exchanged names and she found me on facebook later and we became friends. This set me on a learning path that has been crazy. I learned about international adoption, domestic adoption, foster care, attachment issues and there's still more. There are so many blogs out there that all tell a different story.  I love this one because it has a great time line to see how long a typical adoption can take. The link takes you to basically the beginning of their adoption story
7777 Miles to Adoption

Lacy's Blog of course was the first one I read. It's amazing, but tagged private now, so you'll have to ask if you can read it.
We are coming for Chu
She is/has adopted twice so keep reading to the end!

This one is the bloggers whole life, so I find it more tedious to read, but I'm linking you straight to the good part- the adoption lingo
Adoption Lingo
She adopted 2 children from China at the same time. A boy and a girl.

These are amazing places to start researching adoption that Lacy told me about that day is
Rainbow Kids
Reece's Rainbow

I know God put Lacy in my path so I could have the information I needed to start me on my path. I don't know if a Chinese adoption will be our path, but I can't wait to find out.

The best part of this story is Callie. After we left the swimming pool she asked "Are you and that lady friends now?" I had to think about that for a second. "yes" "I like that better than asking 'will you be my friend'" She is so perceptive at 7 years old. I love that my kids saw it's easy to make a friend, just start talking.

When school started Callie and Lacy's daughter were in the same class. Now they are friends too!

How does it start?

This is my beautiful #4. My baby, but not a baby anymore. she's half way done with preschool! when i was pregnant with her i didn't the first trimester in shock and denial. we weren't having anymore children and were waiting for the new year to make that a permanent decision. My second trimester i spent living the opportunity to be pregnant again. i felt good and was a lot surprised that i didn't want this to be my last baby. there was another special spirit to join our family.  i thought My hubby would put his foot down, by he seemed excited too.
then at 8 month pregnant i was hospitalized with heart palpitations. We would have called it a fluke, that i was just dehydrated, but it wasn't the first time.  Four days after #3 was born i was rushed to the ER for the same reason.
We counted or blessings, 3 and soon to be 4 of them. Our hands and our hearts were full. We didn't feel another pregnancy would be worth the risk.

Kids grew and about the time my baby turned three, the baby hunger set in. I pushed it aside, it's normal to miss the baby phase of your life, especially when you've looked forward to it since you were young. But then one day I closed my eyes and I felt a baby in my arms and I saw a baby of another ethnicity. I began to SEE adoption all around me.  I took note of the people in my life who had been adopted or who had adopted and I began to meet new people who had adopted. They shared their stories with me and my mind and my heart began to slowly open to the idea of adoption. Most of these experiences came over the summer of 2014. Wow, I've got to reference a few just because I'm blown away right now by all of them.
-I was a scout leader and met Katie when she became the other leader. She adopted two beautiful boys.
-In HypnoBirthing Educator training, a young mother told me her story of adopting two babies from Africa
-One of my best and oldest friends was adopted
-Another best friends mom was adopted from Korea. She is the only other person in the world, besides my own mom, that I have called mom.
- The one that I've never stopped thinking about since I met her, who's impact is like a sledge hammer and I don't even know why- Gods messenger in the next post.
-Another friend who adopted the most beautiful African American girl (is that politically correct? ) through domestic adoption.
-My good friend and close neighbor, who recently found her biological dad!

A talk in church touched me deeply- EVERYONE NEEDS A FAMILY
The speaker had worked as an advocate in the court system for children. He talked of how children who had remained in the foster care system and never been adopted would go back to their families, NO MATTER WHAT THAT FAMILY HAD DONE TO THEM. Even if the child was adopted at 17 or 18 it changed their life. Now, every beautiful face I see on adoption websites I think- Everyone needs a family. . . . you need a family. . .. . . are we your family?