Sometimes the little things are the big things. Two nights ago I filled out a form and it was just a little old form with basic, although personal, information. A small thing that felt so huge in that moment. The form was to ask for information on one of the babies whose picture I couldn't stop looking at. Is he mine? The only way to find out is to know more about him. But if I just keep scrolling I won't fall in love, I won't commit. And that is the easy path.
That is what made asking for more info such a big deal. It's the first time I've contacted a stranger or agency and it felt like a very big deal.
SO, two days later feels like an eternity. Maybe they saw I didn't qualify and aren't going to contact me at all. Maybe it's just the weekend. Maybe I need to stop obsessing. Maybe I need to get a job to pay for adopting.
Last night, with all my family around for a birthday, Kev leaned over my cell and said "what ya doing? Looking at Chinese babies?" He's stopped saying "I'm not going to China" In fact he was almost (haha) encouraging when I told him I wanted more info on a baby in China and I showed him the pix. "It won't hurt to get some info" But he is wrong. It can hurt because I might fall in love. And he might fall in love. And the journey to a China Adoption is not an easy one. My 7 year old's face when I told her it takes 1-2 years reminded me of that. She will be nine or even ten if we begin the process soon. This makes me want to get it going, so that my kids aren't too much older than the child we adopt.
Planting your own seed? Sign up at Rainbowkids.org to see the faces of these kids who need forever families.
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