Why don't more people adopt?

I think because if they really get serious and start figuring out the logistics of how to make an adoption happen then:

• The other car window breaks
• The car needs a $1000 repair (and you still haven't fixed the windows)
• The garbage disposal breaks
• The hot water heater needs repaired for a cool $600 (and the garbage disposal is still broken)
• Kids have their dance performance and it's time to pay for costumes and other stuff. 
• I broke my tooth and needed a crown ($800)
• Callie left her retainer in her pocket and it SHATTERED, Ian had a couple cavities too.
• The holidays have been coming at you since Christmas without a chance for financial recoup
• Gas prices plummet,  causing hubby's company to lay off 1/3 of their employees. luckily he dodged the bullet, but are we really in the clear?

I think it's called life. I really did sit down and figure out that with me beginning to work next year we could begin the process this summer with our income tax return and just be a little in debt when we picked up our baby in China. Sure we could put it on a credit card (or 3) but then I'd have to work to make the payments for the rest of our lives and I want another baby to raise myself, not have someone else watch all day.

But with that beautiful list above sucking away our funds faster than they can build, DOUBT has become our companion. We can barely keep up, how can we afford another mouth even if we can find the funds to adopt? And this is:
 Why more people don't adopt
This is Satan capitalizing on our biggest fears. Ours is financial, but it occurred to me that if our fear were something else it would be manifest in a different way. If we were worried that emotionally we can't handle our kids we have already, then our kids would be acting out in ways we've never seen before. But this is that point where faith falters. Where it becomes too much to forge ahead in an adoption. Where we stop before we get started, before there are commitments. This has been our first test, and it's been a doosey. ( If it's even over. )

But, Gods hand will reach down from heaven in ways we can't even imagine.

So, last month I had told the new principal of Centennial, who is also my bishop, not to forget that I wanted to work as an aide while Daisy is at Kindergarten. He met with me and asked me to consider becoming the music teacher for him. It's also an aide position, but a lot more hours. Oh how I AGONIZED over this decision. I called and talked to everyone I could think of. I prayed and God does like he does, waited to confirm or deny my decision. but i couldn't make one. It was horrible. The job is mine to accept or reject.
At first it was an easy "no". I had no one to watch Daisy. Then, I think, Bruce was inspired to tell me how they worked out care for their daughter who would also be in kindergarten. And here is where Gods hand was there. This year Daisy made a new friend, and I knew before I even asked her that the mother would be not only willing, but excited to watch Daisy during the second half of the school day. This friendship is timely and amazing and I just can't tell you how much I love and admire my new friend.
So, now the decision is really mine to make. I would swing back and forth; sometimes hourly. I met with the principal and discussed it again, asking every question I could think of. Begging Heavenly Father to tell me what to do. Not wanting to face my fear of teaching. Bruce wanted an answer on Tue and the answer was no, but I didn't call him.
Wed morning I was sad. I talked to Kev about how I didn't want to say no and I felt like I was missing out on a great opportunity. He told me he hadn't been uninterested in my decision, but that he didn't want to influence me. That he supported me taking the job if that was what I wanted to do. I cried (which he thought was stupid) because I'm so lucky to have a husband that has so much faith in me. He didn't pressure me that we need the money, or if I ever wanted to adopt I'd better take it. He was just silently supportive. And when Bruce called 2 hours later, I told him yes! I almost pooped my pants. I'm terrified (which is bad, cuz I hear kids can smell fear) and excited and overwhelmed and positive that this is going to be a hard and rewarding year!