Saturday, January 31, 2015

Then God sends a messenger

Every summer I enroll the kids in swimming lessons. No Big Deal! Daisy is still little, so her class is only a half hour. It's easier to play on my phone and wait for lessons to be done than leave and come back.

Daisy is getting a ride back to the side of the pool!



 I noticed a family with a beautiful Chinese boy, who isn't even walking yet. He sits in the stroller with his curly blonde headed sister. I'm so curious about this little boys story, but his mom is surrounded by women who are most likely her mom and sister.  Then one day, it's just her. And I finally had a good opportunity to ask about him. I think I started the conversation by asking how old he was.  I was guessing 1 yr, because this day he was walking around a bit, but a few days before when she set his tiny body on the chair and he didn't attempt to get off, I was guessing 10 months. He is 3 years old. Because of poor nutrition he hadn't grown properly and could be a dwarf. He only weighed 15 pounds.

Sometimes you meet people and as you start talking, they are eating every word like it's their last meal; you can't help but share more than you are usually comfortable with. This is what happened that day to Lacy. She kept saying things like, "I don't usually tell people this, but.  .. ." and she would tell me of Gods hand in her adoption story. She started at the beginning and told me she had always wanted to adopt and her journey to adoption and bringing Chu home. He had been home since March. At the time that seemed like it had been a while ago to me. Then when I got home and realized that that had only been a few months and the process had taken her over a year, I felt I hadn't been sensitive enough. She talked about the conditions of the SWI, that the cost was comparable to US adoptions, that babies are abandoned in public places all the time. I WAS CHANGED.

We talked all through lessons and when they were over I had pretzels we fed our kids trying to appease them for just a few more minutes to talk. I think we talked another 45 min after classes and it was amazing. She offered help and support if I could convince my hubby to do it. We exchanged names and she found me on facebook later and we became friends. This set me on a learning path that has been crazy. I learned about international adoption, domestic adoption, foster care, attachment issues and there's still more. There are so many blogs out there that all tell a different story.  I love this one because it has a great time line to see how long a typical adoption can take. The link takes you to basically the beginning of their adoption story
7777 Miles to Adoption

Lacy's Blog of course was the first one I read. It's amazing, but tagged private now, so you'll have to ask if you can read it.
We are coming for Chu
She is/has adopted twice so keep reading to the end!

This one is the bloggers whole life, so I find it more tedious to read, but I'm linking you straight to the good part- the adoption lingo
Adoption Lingo
She adopted 2 children from China at the same time. A boy and a girl.

These are amazing places to start researching adoption that Lacy told me about that day is
Rainbow Kids
Reece's Rainbow

I know God put Lacy in my path so I could have the information I needed to start me on my path. I don't know if a Chinese adoption will be our path, but I can't wait to find out.

The best part of this story is Callie. After we left the swimming pool she asked "Are you and that lady friends now?" I had to think about that for a second. "yes" "I like that better than asking 'will you be my friend'" She is so perceptive at 7 years old. I love that my kids saw it's easy to make a friend, just start talking.

When school started Callie and Lacy's daughter were in the same class. Now they are friends too!

How does it start?

This is my beautiful #4. My baby, but not a baby anymore. she's half way done with preschool! when i was pregnant with her i didn't the first trimester in shock and denial. we weren't having anymore children and were waiting for the new year to make that a permanent decision. My second trimester i spent living the opportunity to be pregnant again. i felt good and was a lot surprised that i didn't want this to be my last baby. there was another special spirit to join our family.  i thought My hubby would put his foot down, by he seemed excited too.
then at 8 month pregnant i was hospitalized with heart palpitations. We would have called it a fluke, that i was just dehydrated, but it wasn't the first time.  Four days after #3 was born i was rushed to the ER for the same reason.
We counted or blessings, 3 and soon to be 4 of them. Our hands and our hearts were full. We didn't feel another pregnancy would be worth the risk.

Kids grew and about the time my baby turned three, the baby hunger set in. I pushed it aside, it's normal to miss the baby phase of your life, especially when you've looked forward to it since you were young. But then one day I closed my eyes and I felt a baby in my arms and I saw a baby of another ethnicity. I began to SEE adoption all around me.  I took note of the people in my life who had been adopted or who had adopted and I began to meet new people who had adopted. They shared their stories with me and my mind and my heart began to slowly open to the idea of adoption. Most of these experiences came over the summer of 2014. Wow, I've got to reference a few just because I'm blown away right now by all of them.
-I was a scout leader and met Katie when she became the other leader. She adopted two beautiful boys.
-In HypnoBirthing Educator training, a young mother told me her story of adopting two babies from Africa
-One of my best and oldest friends was adopted
-Another best friends mom was adopted from Korea. She is the only other person in the world, besides my own mom, that I have called mom.
- The one that I've never stopped thinking about since I met her, who's impact is like a sledge hammer and I don't even know why- Gods messenger in the next post.
-Another friend who adopted the most beautiful African American girl (is that politically correct? ) through domestic adoption.
-My good friend and close neighbor, who recently found her biological dad!

A talk in church touched me deeply- EVERYONE NEEDS A FAMILY
The speaker had worked as an advocate in the court system for children. He talked of how children who had remained in the foster care system and never been adopted would go back to their families, NO MATTER WHAT THAT FAMILY HAD DONE TO THEM. Even if the child was adopted at 17 or 18 it changed their life. Now, every beautiful face I see on adoption websites I think- Everyone needs a family. . . . you need a family. . .. . . are we your family?